In a Thousand Pieces

The weakest part of me.

I exercise that thought.

The nature of who I am runs from comfort,
It toils and tumbles at the idea of peace.
For the first time I felt no judgement
In the presence of one I care about.

There are a few, by that a very few,
That I can call a friend.

I find this a foreign feeling - acceptance.

def. Acceptance - an agreeing either expressly or by conduct to the act or offer of another so that a contract is concluded and the parties become legally bound

With that definition when one person feels the acceptance of another there becomes a bond.
Now that is an unwritten cohesion but it is one nonetheless.

I wonder if maybe I don't understand the social system.
There is a chemistry to it all, we all have some reaction to one another.
(this could explain why I barely passed chemistry in high school)

Now elements all react different when placed together.
Sometimes there is no reaction, sometimes it's very violent.

On occasion though, mixing two elements can create a perfect solution.
So maybe I am just an element that doesn't quite click as well as hydrogen.

def. Humanity - the quality or state of being humane
def. Humane - marked by compassion, sympathy, or consideration for humans or animals

The first antonym for this word reads "coldheartedness".

Interesting. Because we are all human, we automatically consider ourselves a part of humanity.
But let's face it no one has been humane to all people at all times.

Maybe we have confused what humanity really is...I don't think it is an entirety, or one organism...there lies too much conflict, it has to be understood as a series of subgroups.

Let's call them "humanites"
Because the suffix "-ite" means to descend from or one connected with.

So I am a humanite, just as you or the person sitting next to you.
Sure there are even smaller subgroups based on religion, ethnicity, or nationality.
I want to look at people and myself without those accessories.

No doubt some people fall into certain categories of similar likes and dislikes.
Maybe this is what develops these subgroups.

I think it's something more.
The older I get I slowly begin to understand the "humanites" I like to be around.

def. Honesty - A: fairness and straightforwardness of conduct  B: adherence to the facts : sincerity

How rare is it to find just straight up honest people.
Every fiber of who I am wants to be real and straightforward.
Yet I am held back from the lack of sincerity coming from the other party.

I guess going back to the word humanity, people aren't honest with each other because there is a fear.
People are no longer humane. They refuse to show that compassion and sympathy.


The weakest part of me- I desire Acceptance from Humanity through Honesty.

To exercise that thought - I must give Acceptance to Humanity with Honesty.


I thank you friend for bringing this into a better perspective.
You have allowed me to know what sincerity truly is -
By your actions towards me and others that surround you.