The Apple Orchard with Carson
1 year ago
The other night I had the opportunity to spend time with a friend that I haven't seen in quite some time. It was a really great evening full of some interesting conversation. One of the most interesting thoughts that came up was the humanization of individuals. Before I breakdown what humanization is, I want to take a look at the two different comparisons for the reader to think upon.
Connections vs. Relationships
&
Friendships vs. Acquaintances
Both of these comparisons have always been fascinating and quite vexing to me. I will discuss these comparisons later in this post.
Connections vs. Relationships. I guess I should start by looking at the definition of these words because I can't decide on a better place to start.
Connection - the state of being connected;
Connected - joined or linked together
Relationship - the state of being related or interrelated;
Related - connected by reason of an established or discoverable relation;
Relation - an aspect or quality (as resemblance) that connects two or more things or parts as being or belonging or working together or as being of the same kind
Though these words broken down by definition may seem to be similar, I believe there is a concise difference here. My simplest explanation to this is a connection can happen in any occurrence whether it be intentional or unintentional, while a relationship is purposefully established and/or discovered.
Friendships vs. Acquaintances. Continuing with the trend of definitions, here we go.
Friendships - the state of being friends;
Friend - one attached to affection or by esteem.
Acquaintances - the state of being acquainted
Acquainted - to cause to know personally
Much like the first two words these also share a similar definition. My understanding is that an acquaintance is merely just someone you know or are around and have communicated with, while a friendship has a level of love intertwined within it all.
So what is the point of all of this you may ask. Well, after my conversation the other night I have begun the early stages of understanding people and the inter-workings of them within my everyday life. I've decided only one word is going to serve justice towards what I am talking about and that is humanization.
Humanization - to represent as human
I think from a reality stand point we often don't look at people as humans. We walk through the crowded malls, inch our way through downtown traffic, and see face after face each and every day. As we see these individuals they are simply just warm bodies that take up space. That may seem a bit harsh but at what level do these people mean to us as humans?
We should be looking at the world around us like this:
We should be looking at the world around us like this:
But sadly this is all we see:
Don't get me wrong, it's not like we literally see everyone as a "Waldo", but as strangers are concerned they might as well look the same. Moving back to the words I mentioned earlier, every person you encounter where you are at creates a connection. For example, if I go see an Atlanta Braves game at Turner Field, the thousands of other people there share a connection with me. However, when I glance across the massive crowd no essence of a real belonging occurs with these individuals. I could converse with any one of them, but if I never saw them again there would lie no remorse or regret.
Is this supposed to be normal? Why is it we desire for our hearts to break for the lost in prayer and then we go out into everyday life grumbling at the "jerks" cutting us off in traffic. I can recognize a person's existence but I don't have an outpouring of compassion for them. So what is happening here? Are we too afraid of our struggles in life that we guard our eyes, our hearts, and our minds? I fret to think we feel led to minister at only certain moments in life. I find fulfilling the great commission is not meant to be a self-selective scenario. However, I do find it unfeasible to speak to every individual you see each and every day. But overall I must gear back towards the purpose of writing this and I want to do that by asking the question -
What does it mean to humanize someone and when did we make that transition in our eyes when we see that person? (At what point does a Waldo look like a Ben, Jayla, or a Lee.)
When you discover that transition I believe you have crossed over from a connection into a relationship. So how do you recognize that transition? I have discovered the most obvious moments are when personal experiences are shared with one another. That seems fairly obvious but I do not doubt how self-centered our brains are wired. I have always liked the saying, "put yourself in their shoes", because it paints a solid picture of learning how to show compassion. You move from the world revolving around you and step outside for just a glimpse of the world through another's eyes.
In this conversation I had the other night I learned some things that I did not know from this friend. It also reminded me to take note of the interactions that I purposefully take action in and the ways it can effect an individual. Not only did I learn something new about them, but it also humanized them more than ever before. To me it brings a whole new level of respect and love for someone when you learn about their heart. Nothing has proven to be more real to me in an individual than when they are honest.
As I continue to write I feel like I we need a classic Friends montage as I move into the next segment on friendships and acquaintances. <>
From that short montage it would be no understatement at all to say Joey and Chandler were pretty close friends. When I think about what a friend is I have to mention the word love. Of course there are so many different degrees of love and expressions of love are quite versatile, I find that a true friendship has to have a mutual and selfless love for one another.
As Christians we are commanded to love all with no bounds whatsoever. I have no doubt that Christians pray for their communities, their country, and humanity as a whole. However, when approached in a more individualistic effort how do we pray and love on those or do we?
A personal flaw I have is my ability to let people go. Simply give up on a relationship or friendship for a few reasons. The biggest one is a feeling of rejection by the other party. So with that I question my own intentions when it comes to friendships. Am I so selfish to give up if I find my wants of feeling needed unfulfilled? It is painful to discover that as my thoughts trickle down through this digressing sequence.
So if either myself or anyone else has selfish intentions in a friendship has their been a lack of humanization here? Are people merely objectified until we transition to humanizing them?
Communication requires honesty which I understand to be a willingness to be vulnerable and unguarded.
Reflection:
I want to continue to reassess the relationships I am involved with. To fully look at my intentions and motives within those that I call friends. I see at least one need in which I need to apologize for my oblivious nature towards an individual. I really wasn't sure where this post was taking me as I began to write it, but I must say it has been quite a humbling experience.
Maybe the title should have been - "Oh, the Grace!"
P.S. - Thanks again friend for your honesty and wisdom...and for inspiring me to write this.
1 comments:
May compassion, grace, and mercy compel us to attempt to humanize everyone to the best of our ability, and to objectify no one. It would be impossible to have a friendship or relationship with everyone, but not impossible to treat everyone with the dignity and respect each of God's most cherished creations deserves.
I am excited about the conclusions you have come to and the actions you are taking. You inspire me to look at every interaction and connection differently, attempting to remove all selfishness from my behavior. Obviously, we are all attracted to people differently and find ourselves in relationships differently, but we must all consider how we treat others and what our motivations are.
Thanks for sharing.
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